The Unwanted Ex-Boyfriend Reappearance
by A-Little-Bit-Of-Awesomeness
Summary: Kurt comes back out of the blue and accidentally brings Penny to the exact conclusion he hoped she would never have. Set during the Tangerine Factor in season one with Lenny pairing. T for very mild violence.


**Author's Note: After watching an episode from season one, the idea for this little story came into my head. But in this story, the whole discussion with Sheldon including the Schrödinger's Cat analogy didn't happen, so Penny wasn't influenced by Sheldon on whether to go out with Leonard.**

**I wasn't sure quite how to categorise this as it doesn't fit exactly into a specific genre but I hope you all enjoy it anyway. Beware, it has a fluffy ending!**

Kurt had planned all this out during the drive from Omaha to Pasadena. He was going to be smooth and worm his way back into his ex-girlfriend's life, rather than being too full on like he usually was. Besides, he didn't want another Halloween party incident like a few weeks ago. His blood boiled at the memory of it. Since then, Kurt had even learned how to spell 'confrontation' so that nothing like that could happen again (that was his logic anyway). Yes, this time he had planned the encounter, word for word, a few times over. He couldn't settle on a particular way of talking Penny round, but he knew for certain that he would be relaxed and put her at ease before pointing out that they should get back together (literally saying that; subtlety was never his strong point).

However, Kurt was losing his composure as he knocked repeatedly on the door to apartment 4B.

"Penny, open up! Come on! Are you gonna make me wait out here all day?" Kurt shouted through the door. He banged on it again, harder this time. "I know you're in there!"

"Actually, you can't possibly know that Penny is in her apartment because even if you were aware of her whereabouts at all times, you would know that she is currently out," Sheldon stated as he came into view from the stairway.

Kurt looked puzzled while the other man unlocked the door to his apartment.

"Your confusion baffles me; I live here," Sheldon pointed out.

"Oh yeah, with that weird nerdy guy. Though I guess you fit that description too," Kurt sneered.

"That's not very..."

"Whatever, where's Penny?"

"That's one of the few questions in this whole universe I cannot answer, along with 'why do houseflies always sing in the key of F?' and 'why is Penny going on a date with Leonard tonight?'" Sheldon rambled flatly.

As soon as the words had passed his lips, Sheldon realised what he had revealed to the man who was simultaneously Penny's ex-boyfriend and someone that really frightened him. Hands shaking, he pulled his door open and darted inside.

Forcefully, Kurt gripped the door with his muscular hands, just before Sheldon could close it.

"You're not getting away that easily! What's going on with Leonard and Penny?"

Kurt strode into apartment 4A, focusing on Sheldon who was cowering by the door latch. He could hear the shower running in another room, which he assumed to be Leonard.

"N-nothing," was the stuttered reply.

"I don't like being lied to, and I 'specially don't like being lied to by..." he began, approaching the physicist menacingly.

"They have no romantic history apart from a drunken kiss (according to Leonard) that you witnessed, however I am under the impression that they are going out for dinner tonight. It will be their first date," Sheldon explained shakily, his right eye twitching.

"I want details. Where and when?"

"The Szechuan Palace, at eight pm," Sheldon replied anxiously. He didn't want to get the way of Leonard and Penny's date, but with Kurt flexing his arm muscles in front of him, Sheldon had to reluctantly give in.

"Hang on, I've got a better idea," Kurt announced suddenly. A sly smile spread across his face that unnerved Sheldon even more. "Yeah! This could work."

* * *

Just after six o'clock that same day, Penny wandered into her apartment wearing blue denim shorts and a colourful hoodie. She dropped her keys onto a little cabinet with a clatter and glanced up to see someone leaning on the side of her kitchen island! The waitress shrieked and her green eyes widened as she realised it was Kurt.

"Hey Penny," he smirked smugly.

"Kurt! How did you get in here?"

"The praying mantis across the hall gave me his spare keys," Kurt explained. "Cool, huh?"

"You got them off Sheldon? Oh god, what did you do to him?" She asked worriedly, looking over to the door.

"Nothing! Seriously, I haven't done anything to your little buddy." Kurt opened her fridge and peered inside. "Hey, got any beer in here?"

"Um, yeah, I think so," Penny answered as she walked over to him with folded arms and a troubled expression.

Having her ex-boyfriend here was like re-opening a chapter in her life that she was sure had been over. Penny had so many questions she wanted to ask him (mainly 'why are you here?'), but instead she watched a little shyly as Kurt made himself at home in her living room. He sat down on her sofa with a beer from her fridge.

"I'm starving; do you wanna order some take-out?"

"Mm, actually I..."

"Oh my God, you're not thinking of cooking are you? No offense, babe, but you're the worst cook ever," Kurt laughed.

"I wasn't going to..." Penny started.

"Awesome, why don't we order Chinese? I hear the Szechuan Palace is pretty good."

Penny stared at him.

"The Szechuan Palace? Kurt, what's going on?"

"You know, Penny, your neighbour didn't just give me the keys. He also told me something about you going on a dinner date with Leonard, but I thought _'Leonard? Seriously? That can't be right'_," he told her, shaking his head. "Eight o'clock at the Szechuan Palace. Is it true?"

"Ugh, I knew you weren't here just for a cheap can of lager. But yeah, not that it's any of your business," Penny responded with a sigh.

"I can't believe it. That sad little dork? We both know you can do better than that, better than him," Kurt commented.

"Don't call him that!"

"What?"  
"A 'sad little dork'. He's not and even if he was, it's mean," Penny pointed out, sitting on the arm of her sofa.

"If this whole thing is a joke, I don't get it," Kurt stated. To Penny's confusion, he started laughing. "You know, actually, it is pretty funny."

"My date with Leonard is not a joke," she argued.

"But it's just so funny, you going out with _him, _when you could have me. I mean, he probably doesn't even know what the line of scrimmage is, never mind what sport it's from," Kurt sniggered.

"Come on, that doesn't matter at all. Knowing about sports is not what I look for in a guy."

"Oh I see. You look for tiny guys, probably never been on a date before, bad dress sense, totally nerdy, glasses optional? Well wait a second, Leonard fits that perfectly, sorry I doubted him!" Kurt gasped, faking a dramatic epiphany.

"Shut up, Kurt, you don't know what you're talking about."

"Penny, you don't know what you're doing. Not just this whole Leonard thing, but breaking up with me and moving all the way out here to live on your own. And getting a job as a waitress? What's up with that?"

"How else am I gonna pay the bills? I'll quit my job as soon as I get my big break and become a movie star, you know that was always the plan," Penny explained touchily.

"I know you'll be an amazing actress, but why not be all that while living with me? Just because you want a cool job doesn't mean you have to be away from me," Kurt argued, standing up sharply.

"You know that I didn't just leave you because of the acting, we were breaking up anyway!" Penny reasoned desperately.

"Why?"

"Don't play dumb with me, you know why."

"No, I don't! I can't do anything about it until you tell me what it was," he countered.

"Fine. I didn't have strong enough feelings for you, well not many feelings at all by the end, and you would always intimidate people by acting all powerful and scary. But, that's in the past now and I've moved on," Penny told him, jumping up from the arm of the sofa.

Deciding that things weren't moving forward in the way he'd planned, Kurt tried to get things back on track.

"The point is, you can do better than Leonard and you shouldn't be going out with him tonight. No matter what you say, he's pathetic, weedy and he's a total nerd, waste of space." He softened slightly, walking closer to Penny. "He doesn't deserve you."

Penny felt herself weaken just like all those times before, but she took a deep breath and stepped away from him. She had had enough of him winning her over and treating everyone else like dirt.

"No, Kurt, _I_ don't deserve Leonard. The way he stood up to you, getting my TV back and proving that his costume was a hobbit costume, not an elf costume, was anything but pathetic. He's not weedy, just because he's not as strong and muscly as you are. And sure, he's super smart but what's wrong with that? Actually, it's an incredible thing to be!"

"Well I can spell confrontation now: C-O-N-F... um, T... oh, dammit, I had it a minute ago..."

"If you were even half as smart as he is, it wouldn't be an achievement to be able to spell confrontation. Besides, it's not just about knowledge, he has emotional intelligence too. Lastly, he's anything but a waste of space. Leonard is kind and caring and gentle and handsome- just not in the same way as my usual type. He's funny too, like this morning he sent me this text..." Penny trailed off when she saw Kurt's furious expression. "Anyway, he's funny and the more I hang out with him, the more he's coming out of his shell. So what if he's shy? It's exciting, finding out little things one at a time and getting to know him more every day. Granted, Leonard's a little different- okay, the total opposite, of the kind of guys that I usually go out with, but I think that's a good thing. And you know what, Kurt, I can't wait until my first date with Leonard tonight."

It was like the words had just flown out of her mouth without her comprehending that she thought all those things. As soon as she finished that last sentence, she knew it was all true although her eyes were wide and innocent looking.

For once in his life, Kurt was speechless. His head felt like it was buzzing, partly because he wasn't used to thinking so deeply about things and secondly because Penny had completely taken him by surprise. All this time, he had been secretly thinking that Penny was just going on a date with someone else to make him jealous. He opened his mouth to speak but Penny stopped him.

"Kurt, we're over and we've been over for months now. I'm sorry that I'm not sorry," she told him, building up the courage that she had been lacking in when he first arrived here. "I should have done this a while ago," Penny commented as she opened the door.

"What? You're kicking me out?" Kurt asked indignantly.

"I never let you in in the first place. But I think you should leave," Penny replied, holding the door open.

"But, Penny..."

"Get out... or I swear to god I'll go all Nebraska on you. And we both know what that's like," she threatened.

"Okay, I'm leaving," Kurt agreed, holding his hands up to show surrender. "Good luck on your acting career and stuff."

"Thanks, good luck on everything."

Penny closed the door and leant on the back of it. She had been so unprepared for him to come back, although she supposed that it's pretty hard to be prepared for some random person to turn up out of the blue. Suddenly, she scrambled to open the door and hurried after him.

"Kurt! Wait up!" Penny shouted as she rushed towards him. One of her bright pink flip flops flew off and tumbled down the stairs.

A smug grin spread across Kurt's face. _I knew she wouldn't be able to let me go. _He stopped and turned around innocently.

"Yeah?"

"Can I have Sheldon's spare key back?" Penny asked, sitting on the last step as she put her flip flop back on.

"Oh, right, sure," Kurt agreed meekly. He had been taken by surprise for what felt like the millionth time that day.

"Thank you," Penny replied as he handed her the spare key.

"No problem."

With a wide smile across her face, Penny skipped back up the stairs.

* * *

A while later, Penny was getting ready for her date later than she had planned. She had been over to check that Sheldon was okay after the run-in with Kurt and he seemed fine, apart from being a little shaken. He had calmed down after Penny had explained that Kurt was gone, and besides, she had seen Howard and Raj over there which meant that he wouldn't be alone. Howard had made a quip about how nervous Leonard was (she hadn't actually seen him there), which she had rolled her eyes at. As she put on her mascara, she decided that she was as nervous as Leonard apparently was.

Up until the talk with Kurt, Penny hadn't been sure if she was doing the right thing by going out with Leonard. She had only really thought of him as a friend and neighbour, a good friend but was he boyfriend material? She cringed at a memory of Howard asking what material he was wearing. _'Feel that? That's boyfriend material!'_ Anyway, did she really want to go out with Leonard?

As soon as Kurt had insulted Leonard like that, Penny hadn't thought twice before defending him. It had all come so naturally to her, like choosing which role to go for at her drama class or deciding whether to play Halo with the guys or not.

Penny concluded that all those things she had said about Leonard were true. He_ was_ caring, gentle, kind, funny and handsome too. And yes, he was different to the guys Penny usually went out with, but was that a bad thing? She had never trusted Kurt or any of her ex-boyfriends, but she trusted Leonard like she trusted her parents; they both had her best interests at heart. A small smile spread across her face. Her father would _love_ for her to go out with someone like Leonard after all the jerks she had been with. And her entire family would, actually. In fact, _she_ would love to go out with someone like Leonard after all the losers she had dated.

As she finished off her make-up, Penny remembered that not just someone like Leonard, but Leonard himself was coming over to her apartment right now. Unexpected butterflies fluttered in her stomach as she smoothed down the beautiful pink dress she was wearing. Her reflection in her bedroom mirror looked excited and breathless. She giggled at her nervous expression reflected back at her.

There three light but decisive knocks on her door and Penny skipped into her living room.

_How ironic,_ she thought with a sunny grin, _Kurt was trying to get us back together and instead he ended up getting me together with Leonard!_


End file.
